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In an interview about his 2015 book, “Modern Romance,” Ansari recalls an old crush: “I texted someone I thought was really interested in me and then they didn’t say anything back for hours and what eventually turned into days,” he said.“And I was losing my mind and it’s because I received silence on the other end.” He goes on to talk about the paradox of choice in online dating: “We have the most romantic options that any generation’s ever had. ” My phone buzzed in my pocket, a reminder that a different man might not feel the same way.

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In the middle of making pancakes, my phone buzzed with a text. Normally I feel heartache magnified by hopelessness over not being able to find anyone.

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