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If actions and words don’t positively match, which means you have hallmarks and landmarks, you’ve got problems.
You will have even greater problems if you fail to recognise the disconnect and push your flush handle.
The funny thing is that when they do match, you know where you’re at, and when it’s a good match, you’re not spending your life feeling mind screwed and ‘hungry’ for substance. For a no holds barred guide to actions not matching words, check out my book and ebook Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl in Hi, I’m Natalie!
Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
Really, being with someone who talks but fails to act, is like calling up one of those chat lines over and over again. ” they ask, barely disguising their boredom while cutting their toenails.
“Tell me about the type of relationship we’re going to have, the things you would do, where you would take me and then tell me all the excuses for why you won’t do any of those things and then reel me in again with some more Future Faking…” I know I’ve said this many times but if actions and words don’t match, you’ve got problems. When someone is a person of integrity, they act like they’re in a relationship and talk they’re in a relationship because they think like they’re in a relationship.
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Just because an ex did those things with you and called you their boyfriend/girlfriend or you ‘feel’ like you’re in a relationship, or your feelings within this pseudo relationship are that of someone in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship or that you know better than someone who’s acting or saying differently.
I see so many people practically getting a Ph.d in investigating what someone said but didn’t back up with words, or investing themselves in something that looks like a relationship but the other party has said things to the contrary, that I felt it was time to break it down.
If the person appears to behave like they’re in a relationship by exhibiting the hallmarks of one such as spending time with you, sleeping together, introducing you to people, acting like you’re in a relationship, but then says that they don’t want to commit, that you’re “just friends” or ‘Friends With Benefits’, or denies that you’re even together, or says they’re not ready, their cat’s stuck up a tree, they haven’t got clean drawers, their budgie died when they were five, or whatever, if you continue, you’re ignoring the fact that their words don’t stack up with what you believed to be the actions of a relationship.
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