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“He was on a Lewis Schaffer‘s radio show and he had decided to do it naked.” “There was,” I said, “a Malcolm Hardee Awards Show I staged in Edinburgh where a woman comic told me she wanted to take part in the naked balloon dance and I thought about it but figured you couldn’t add a naked woman because it would become sexual and then, also, there’s a physical problem because she has three bits to hide with two balloons whereas a man only really has one bit.” “Why would it be sexual if you added in a woman?
“I just felt it would.” “I saw a funny act,” said my eternally-un-named-friend, “where a woman had a balloon stuffed down her shorts and she was taking the piss out of the Ch…
If you decide to terminate your pregnancy, you will have to travel to another country to access safe and legal abortion services.
Legally the IFPA can provide you with information on abortion services abroad in a face-to-face-counselling session.
“Have you ever,” Matt asked my eternally-un-named-friend, “seen women at a male strip show: the way they behave? “Years ago, when I was eighteen,” said Matt, “I worked in a pub up north and they had a strip night in one of the rooms and I was on the bar and they were doing obscene things to the strippers.” “Like what?
It could have been the Sandbach Ladies’ Darts Society.” “Did they have erections?
This inevitably involves performing the naked balloon dance.
“Well,” I said, “the Greatest Show of Legs always carry elastic bands for their routine…” “Which brings us back to Totnes,” said Matt. And (Matt’s on-stage character) Wilfredo, too, was invented in Totnes.” “Both? “It is a fantastic place to live,” said Matt, “and it’s full of very creative, interesting people – a nice community – but there’s a very precious, almost slightly pretentious side to its attitude to art or artists’ attitude to their own art.” “You don’t want to be quoted saying that,” I suggested. “Martin and Malcolm (Hardee) had come across a group of militant feminists who were having a weekly meeting about how to wipe out Chinese foot-binding.” “I think,” said my eternally-un-named-friend, “that John wrote about it in a blog.” “I might have done,” I said.
Abortion is against the law in Ireland unless the pregnancy endangers the life of the woman.
It is not legal to provide this information over the telephone.
IFPA National Pregnancy Helpline 1850 49 50 51 (Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm) IFPA counselling locations: Cork, Dublin City Centre, Tallaght, Dundalk, Tuam, Galway, Gorey, Letterkenny, Limerick, Sligo and Waterford.