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Latest research has shown that grief is not easily defined or categorized, and trying to do so may cause more harm than good. Anger is a common reaction, and it can drive people away when we need them the most. Intensity may lessen over time but the grief remains. But if you are exhibiting manifestations of depression during the grieving process, it might be wise to seek the opinion of a trusted friend, a counselor or a mental health professional.

Rather, there are reactions, and those reactions range from the physical to the emotional, cognitive, spiritual, and behavioral.

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Bereavement specialists used to refer to the so-called five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Grief is more of a roller coaster than a step-by-step process, and reactions come and go in seemingly random order. You may try to deny it, run from it, hide from it, but it is part of us.

It seemed an easy way to define some fairly common reactions to the death of a loved one. It may help to see grief as a blessing, however difficult to bear, because it honors the person or people we love.

On the other hand, if money is a problem, or you prefer to do it yourself, keep a list of needs, write them down, and take the list to the local markets.

When in doubt, ask a woman for guidance, or another widower who has figured it out already.

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